The League of Evil Gentlemen
by Unipugs at 221b
Summary: A club for evil people doing evil things. Current fandoms: Sherlock, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Hamilton, Avengers and Jacksepticeye. This is an AU where Jefferson is just a guy in modern times and not a founding father. I'm not saying Thomas Jefferson was a villain, only he was to Hamilton. Warning: language and Jeffmads, Samifer and Mormor. Drop a review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! This is just a funny multifandom clash of totally different fandoms that don't go together (apart from Superwholock) So anyway, review, fav, follow. Whatever. Also, I tried to find the Anti-est font I could for Anti's speech. I'm not sure it'll even show up. ): Enjoy!**

 **Session One:**

"Loki, Lucifer, Mr Master, Jefferson and, of course, me. Welcome to the Villains club!" Moriarty greeted the four other men in the room.

"I'm not a villain, I'm just misunderstood!" Loki complained. The Master and Lucifer nodded in agreement, murmuring _Yeah_ s and _Uh Huh_ s.

"Okay… Evil Club." All the men seemed fine with this so Moriarty sat down at their circular table. Circular because if it was rectangular they would argue who was at the ends.

"Er, Jim?" The Master looked at his friend, "why did you only add Mr to my name?"

"Because I am not calling you Master. NO ONE IS MY MASTER. I AM MY MASTER." To be honest, none of the men really reacted to the sudden screaming. They were all the same.

 **Session Two:**

"I've brought in a friend," Sherlock's nemesis announced, "his name is Antisepticeye and you must treat him with respect."

Jefferson sniggered, "Antiseptic? What a scary name!"

"I will end you." Antisepticeye laughed manically.

"This is an evil club, we all do that. Don't think you're special. My brother thought he was special. I _hate_ my brother," Loki groomed his nails distractedly.

"Yeah, we know," Lucifer had his feet on the table, bored out of his mind, "I was promised murder. Where the hell is my murder?"

"Well what do you want to do? Also, GET YOUR FEET OFF MY FUCKING TABLE!" Moriarty shrieked.

"DON'T FUCKING SWEAR AT ME! I'M SATAN!"

"Guys! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" the Master screeched.

"I know! Let's say hi to someone's nemesis!" Loki suggested.

"How do we decide whose?" the Master asked.

"Let's pick out of a hat," Moriarty suggested.

Jefferson read out names while Jim wrote each on a slip of paper. The other four men chatted.

"Let's see. The Doctor, Crowley, Thor, _Alexander Hamilton,_ Sherlock and Jacksepticeye. Okay? Got that?"

"Yep. Hey, Anti! Since you're new would you like to pick?" Jim called. Anti walked over and stuck his hand into the random top hat. He pulled out a slip of paper.

"If it's not Sean I will flip. For fuck's sake! Sherlock!" Anti screamed. Moriarty let out a _Yesss._

"Don't worry, gentlemen, we'll pick every two weeks. How about it?" Moriarty grinned. Everyone agreed and began to get ready.

"Everyone ready?" the Master asked, standing at the door. Everyone arrived and Jim pressed a button on his phone. A few minutes after, a limousine appeared at the door. Everyone climbed in and they set off.

 **221B**

John was typing away and Sherlock was tuning his violin. John heard a car and voices outside the window.

"Shhhh," he hissed to Sherlock, who stopped. John could just make it out.

"This is it?"

"In the middle of London? Subtle, huh?"

"SHUT UP!" _That sounded a lot like Moriarty…_ John thought.

"I'd rather be back in my cage!"

"I'd rather be stuck listening to Hamilton drone on."

" _I'd_ rather be insane. Oh wait, I AM!" _What the hell is going on?_ John walked towards the window. He could see six figures. Moriarty. A scruffy man with blood on him. Another scruffy man in a black hoodie. A green haired man. A man with a fluffy afro. And a man wearing a ridiculous horned head piece. _What a weird group…_

" _I'D_ RATHER YOU ALL SHUT UP!" Moriarty yelled.

"Get that stupid headpiece off! We're in London!" the afro haired man scorned. The headpiece man put it in the limo.

"Well, get rid of that stupid coat!" headpiece man responded.

"No! This looks alright! Fashionable!"

"SHUT UP!" that was the scruffy hoodie man, "Let's just head in." They knocked. John couldn't let Mrs Hudson answer.

He whispered to his friend, "I'll answer. It's Moriarty!" Before Sherlock could stop him he had ran downstairs, told their landlady to hide and opened the door. "Hello?"

"Ahh. Johnny!" Moriarty grinned, "My friends and I would just _love_ to have a cup of tea. Do you mind?" John looked over the group of strangers. But one of them wasn't a total stranger…

He pointed to the green haired one, "You! I know you! You're that youtuber! Agh, who is it again? Don't tell me! Oh! You're Jacksepticeye!" John smiled. He was thankful to see a familiar face.

"Oh my god! NO! I am not jacksepticeye! He is WEAK!" Anti was so frustrated. He was constantly mistaken for that idiot.

"HEY! DON'T MENTION MY STUPID FATHER!" the bloodstained man growled. John stepped back.

Choosing to ignore the father comment he turned back to the not-Jacksepticeye, "So who are you?"

"His alter ego, so to speak. Antisepticeye."

"Um, kay? So who are the rest of you?" The men spoke over each other.

"MEN! ONE BY ONE! YOU FIRST!" Jim pointed at the afro man.

"Thomas Jefferson," he said, holding out his hand.

"Okay. Um, nice to meet you," John stuttered.

"I am the Master, I am a timelord and I will _kill_ the doctor," scruffy-hoodie man stated.

"Um, nice to meet you."

"I am Loki, headpiece-man announced.

"Nice to meet you. I saw your headpiece through the window. It looks really good!"

"HA! SEE MORTAL!" Loki shouted triumphantly at Thomas.

"Shut up!"

"So, you're a pagan god," John realized.

"Yes."

"Okay, then. Moving on."

"And I am Lucifer," bloodstain-man smirked.

"Nice to mee- HANG ON! LUCIFER? LIKE, SATAN, LUCIFER?" John shouted.

"Yes."

"Umm? Okay? Do you guys want to, um, enter?" the six men walked in and John led them upstairs, "Hey! Sherlock! We have six guests. Anti, Master, Loki, Jefferson, Lucifer and Moriarty." Sherlock looked up.

"Hello group of terrifying, or so you think, men. Let's start here," Sherlock pointed at Anti, "You're a demon-like alter ego, forever stuck in the shadow of your human counterpart, this poor green-haired idiot you've taken temporary control of," Sherlock pointed at Lucifer, "Now, you have taken complete control of this man. You hate being the 'evil' one and feel hurt, cheated. You did something wrong but you did it out of love, and you wish your siblings would understand that. Understand you. You," Sherlock pointed at Loki, "also have sibling problems. You were either adopted or something similar. You hate your brother because he gets everything, while you are stuck behind. Your need to be loved has created this hate. Nothing else," he pointed at Jefferson, "You are also jealous of someone. They aren't your brother but they are kind of similar in a way. They are just as good as you, but gets further, which annoys you. You both have shared friend who feels the stress from both ends, be careful or you'll brake him," he points at the Master, "And you have also watched someone almost identical rise up, leaving you behind. Even worse, you loved them and watched them hate you when a tragic event occurred. He became a better person and helped others, but your mental health deteriorated. And I already know about you, Jim. So there you have it. Not a group of scary men. A group of lonely, frustrated children just trying to make a cry for help."

Loki started crying and the rest soon followed.

"What the hell, Sherlock?!" Moriarty screeched, "We came to annoy you and you verbally attacked my friends! Come on guys, let's go!" The crowd shuffled out.

 **Moriarty's Place**

"Well that sucked!" Anti had wiped away his tears. However, Loki was still in tears.

"Hope for better next time!" Lucifer growled.

"Welp! It's kinda late! See you guys next time!" Moriarty called. The others said their goodbyes and left. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialled a number.

"Hey Sebby! How was your day? When are you back? THURSDAY?! SEBBY! YAY! I CAN'T WAIT! So, anyway, Sherlock was being a prick today. Let me tell you…"


	2. Chapter 2

**Session 3:**

"I have decided that next week is Bring a Plus One week! Bring a date, a friend, anyone as long as they aren't an enemy," Jim announced to his colleagues. Everyone perked up. That wasn't a bad idea. "Any plans on who?" he asked, curious.

"I'm gonna take Jemmy! He's my boyfriend!" Jefferson beamed.

"I'm away next week," Loki complained.

"Boo hoo, crybaby! I'm taking myself!" the Master scorned.

"You can't take yourself!" Jefferson pointed out.

"I'm taking my future self! Her name is Missy!"

"You're a girl?"

"I regenerate, stupid."

"ANYWAY! I might take my enemy," Anti interrupted.

"Um, did I not just say no enemies. No 'goodies'. Kay?" Jim sassed.

"He's not a goodie! He's evil! We're kinda frenemies. He's called Darkiplier."

"Well, okay then."

"So, who are you taking, Jimmy?" Lucifer asked.

"One, DON'T CALL ME JIMMY! And two, I'm taking my boyfriend! Sebby!"

"Aw! Yay, I'm not the only one with a date!" Thomas grinned.

"What about you, Luci?"

"DON'T CALL ME LUCI!" for some reason Lucifer was in tears, "and, I don't know yet… Can I stay after and talk with you, Jim?"

"Sure. Anyway, on with the meeting."

 **After the Meeting**

"So, what did you want to tell me?" Jim asked his friend.

"I, um, like someone I know," he spat, annoyed at himself.

" _Like_ like?"

"Yeah. Even worse, he's good," Lucifer sobbed.

"Oh, crap!"

"Yeah. He hates me, but we're meant to be! Literally! He's my true vessel and I love him!"

"I think you should tell him how you feel."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'll come with you! Who is it?"

"Sam Winchester."

 **Sam's Place**

"Coming!" Sam shouted, walking to the front door where the knocking was coming from, "LUCIFER?" Lucifer and a small man with black hair were standing on the doorstep. Lucifer got on one knee.

"Sam, I love you. Will you go on a date with me?"

Sam laughed uncomfortably, "This is a joke right?"

"What? No! See, Jimmy! I told you he hated me!"

"No, no, no. Wait what? What's going on? Are you trying to get me to agree again? I said no."

"Hey. My friend is fully sincere. I'm sorry, Luci. This is my fault. I shouldn't have told you to come," Moriarty was faking guilt. They could convince him, he was sure of it. And he was right.

"Hey, calm down. If this isn't some elaborate plan, then sure. I'm bored of research," Sam decided. It would be risky, but sure. _And besides, Lucifer was actually kinda cute… Shut UP, Sam_ , he thought.

"Really? Okay, well, it's next Wednesday, 1 till late," Satan was overjoyed. Sam might like him?

"Where?"

"Luci will collect you. I'm not giving my address out," Moriarty settled.

"Bye! See you next week!" Luci called.

"Bye."

 **Back at Jimmy Jim's house**

"Never call me Jimmy again." Jimmy said both to his friend and the author.

"Never call me Luci. Only one person gets to call me that. And he's dead!"

"Okay. Good for you, by the way. Getting Sam," Jim congratulated his friend.

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"Agh! I can't wait for next week!"

"Neither!"

 **Session 4:**

"So, want to introduce your plus ones? I'll go first. This is Sebby! He kills people for me and he's so cute!" Jim started, "Say hi, Seb!" A dirty blonde haired man stepped forward. He was massive compared to his boyfriend, tall and muscular.

"Yeah, I'm Sebastian Moran. Jim's boyfriend and bodyguard."

"This is Jemmy! He's so smol and cute and cuddly! He's sick now though. He's always sick!" Thomas squealed.

"Don't call me that, Thomas. I'm James Madison. And I am none of those things. I am a secretary and I am not always sick!" It was a dark skinned man with a short haircut and a fluffy jumper.

"Yes you are, Jemmy! Squishy baby!" he gave James a hug, making the smol man blush.

"Shut UP!"

"So, this is Missy. As you can see, she's almost as brilliant as me," the Master smiled. Beside him was an eccentric looking woman.

"Cheek! I am you, silly!" she nudged him.

"This is Dark," Anti said simply.

"We're all evil, of course it's going to be dark," the Master pointed out.

"No, this is Dark. That's his name." He gestured to a man with pale skin and emo hair and makeup.

"Hi. I have no clue why this weak idiot dragged me along to this," Dark sighed.

"Weak? YOU'RE WEAK!" Anti screamed.

"Guys," everyone turned to look at the speaker, Lucifer, "Shut the fuck up!"

"HEY-" Anti started but Luci interrupted.

"This is Sam. He's not evil but he's cute!" Sam was getting uncomfortable. Evil? What? Is everyone here evil?

"Um, yes. I'm Sam. Hi." He blushed under the intense stares. Suddenly they all spoke over each other.

"Winchester? The hunter?" Anti and Dark hissed.

"You're taller than me!" Jefferson marvelled.

"You look like a moose," the Master sniffed. Sam stepped back at the rambling voices.

"Okay, well. Yes, Winchester the hunter. Yes, I am six foot six, taller than you. And no, I am _not_ a moose." Somewhere in the distance Crowley was chuckling to himself.

"So now everyone's met everyone let's get down to business," Moriarty sang the last five words.

"To defeat the huns!" Jefferson continued.

"Did they send me daughters?" Lucifer joined in. Missy scoffed.

"When I asked for sons!" the Master stood up.

"You're the saddest bunch I've ever met!" Anti hissed.

They all sang Loki's part and then the final bit, "And you can bet before we're through. Somehow I'll make a man out of you!"

"Kay, now that's settled, what are we gonna do?" Jim straightened up. Sam expected suggestions like _Blow up an orphanage! Kill old people! Slaughter puppies!_ And other equally evil things. Instead, the crew decided on a very odd choice. A duet competition. A Disney duet competition.

"You have eight minutes to select a Disney duet. Both members must sing. Then we have one hour to get prepared. Clothes, props, learning lines. Everything you need. It must be as visually pleasing and fun as you can make it. Ready gentlemen? And lady," Moriarty laid down the rules. Everyone nodded eagerly, "Then let the games commence!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Wow, this got way more publicity than I thought. I just started out so I expected literally no one to read this. Thank you so much for your reviews, NewMusicDownload, AmeliaRaeCat and YouMissedMeRight. Enjoyyyyy!** Thomas grinned at James excitedly.

"I know what we're doing!"

James sighed, "What is it?"

"A Whole New World!"

"Not a bad choice. Wait. You want me to be Jasmine just so you can see me in a crop top," James realized. Thomas laughed.

"I would say you're wrong but that would be lying. Well, do you want to go shopping?" Thomas smirked. He knew James would give in.

"Fine." The two set off.

….

"So, what are going to do?" the Master sighed.

"Well, I was thinking of a song that meant something in real life," Missy smirked.

"Like what?"

"I Won't Say I'm in Love, from Hercules."

"What? Why?"

"Well, we both know we like the Doctor."

"WHAT? NO! I WON'T SAY!"

"See, you already know the lines!" Missy smirked, "You'll be Meg, since you're in denial."

"You've hardly told him yet!"

"Yeah, but at least I know!"

"Fine. No one will know it's real."

"One day he will…" Missy stared into the distance, "let's go get kitted up!" She dragged her male counterpart off.

….

"What are we going to do? Most are love songs," Dark hissed.

"There's one. I Just Can't Wait to Be King. You know, since I'm gonna be king of the world!" Anti grinned.

"Yes. We'll do that, but you will never be king," Dark taunted, "But I have a proposition. Instead of being the characters we could change the lyrics to fit us."

"That seems not terrible. Should we get started?"

"Yes."

….

"Hakuna Matata or Love is an Open door?" Jim asked.

"Hakuna Matata," Seb stated.

"Loosen up! Drink this!" Jim shoved a glass under his boyfriend's nose. Sebastian couldn't tell what it was but it was strong.

"Jim, no."

"That's an order." Jim stared dangerously into Seb's eyes. Moran blushed before downing the drink. He was right. It was strong. "Now, back to business!"

…

Lucifer was latched onto Sam's arm. Sam was trying to research songs.

"I found one that's a sure winner! It's both emotional and true. I think we should play as ourselves."

"Great! Let me hear it!" Sam played the video, "Something There? The lyrics are… Fitting." A tear fell down his cheek.

"I know, right! Shall we practise? I have lighting instructions planned for the sure. Come on!" Lucifer grinned. He said it himself. He really felt that way about him! He happily headed over to their practise space.

….

James peeked his head out of the changing room, blushing intensely.

"What if someone sees?" he hissed. He was currently wearing just a crop top, baggy trousers, cute shoes and a jewelled hairband. Thomas caught a glimpse of the top and squealed.

"Jemmy! Get out here! Oh my… You look so hot!" he was flabbergasted. James reluctantly pulled open the curtain. Thomas squeaked. _He looks so cute! Oh my… He is so perfect! So… Beautiful._

"It makes me look fat! I hate it!" James had one tear rolling down his cheek. _Is that what he thinks? My poor baby…_

"JEMMY!" Thomas shrieked, making James jump, "Never say that again! I love all of your curves, and this makes them look so HOT!" James collapsed into his boyfriend's arms, openly crying. "Oh, Jemmy…" Suddenly James pulled himself off, giggling. "What? What is it?" James pointed over to the shelf with a Prince Ali costume resting on it.

"You're gonna look like such a prick!" James giggled. Thomas just beamed at his beautiful, curvy boyfriend.

…

"You never said this was part of it!" the Master was wearing a slinky [mauve] dress. Missy was in a simple white toga.

"It's okay, you look great!" he actually did, "Go get changed out of it." As the Master walked off Missy pulled out her phone.

"Hello? Doctor? Yes, I need a favour. Come to the following address tonight at 6:45pm. Please? It's important. Thank you!" Missy texted him the address and changed out of the toga in time to meet the Master outside. The two set off, Missy bursting at her little secret.

…

"Lyrics done. Outfits done. Another rehearsal?" Anti asked. Dark just nodded.

"I'm gonna be a mighty king, I'll whip everyone's ass!" Anti sang.

"Well, I've never seen a king of the world with quite so little class!" Dark countered.

"I'm gonna be the main event, I'll be greater than Sean! I'm brushing up on screaming loud, there'll be no more of your scorn!"

"Thus far, a rather uninspiring scream."

"Oh I just can't wait to be king!"

…

Sebastian was absolutely wasted.

"When he was a young warthog!" Jim sang.

"When I was a young warthhhooooggg!" Seb sang very theatrically.

"Very nice."

"Thanks."

…

Sam and lucifer had permission to use the stage. Sam had one of Jim's henchmen set up the lights. The stage was dark. Lucifer and Sam were standing on opposite sides of the stage. Then a spotlight shone on both of them. Lucifer stood still in a completive pose while Sam turned to face the front.

"There's something sweet. And almost kind. But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined. But now he's dear, and so unsure. And I wonder why I didn't see it there before."

Then Sam turned to face Lucifer, holding a hand out and beaming, staying completely still in that position. Lucifer then relaxed and turned to face the front.

"He glanced this way. I thought I saw when we touched he didn't shudder at the thought. Though we can't be. I'll just ignore. But then he's never looked at me this way before." He froze again and Sam burst to life, clutching at his heart.

"New and a bit… Alarming. Who'd ever thought that this could be? True that he's no Prince Charming. But there's something in him that I simply didn't see." The two both stepped into the middle and clutched each other's hands. Looking each other dead in the eye, they sang the last part, harmonizing perfectly.

"There may be something there that wasn't there before…"

…

"Okay! Everyone ready?" Jim cheered.

"Yeah!" Everyone yelled, with varying degrees of passion.

"Let's pick out of a hat to see who goes first!"

 **A/N: I swear to Chuck if anybody can draw Jemmy as Jasmine, Master as Meg, Seb and Jim as Timon and Pumba or literally anything else I will scream.**


	4. Chapter 4

Anti & Dark

Jemmy & Thomas

Moriarty & Seb

Luci & Sam

Missy & the Master

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I'm back! Please give me any feedback! It makes me squeal and puts me in a good mood all day. Even criticism! So, anyway, enjoy! Also, I used a random generator to make up the order.

"Number one! Anti and Dark! You guys ready?" Dark rolled his eyes and Anti dragged him onto the

stage.

"Ugh. C'mon."

A: "I'm gonna be a mighty king, I'll whip everyone's ass!"

D: "Well, I've never seen a king of the world with quite so little class!"

A: "I'm gonna be the main event, I'll be greater than Sean! I'm brushing up on screaming loud, there'll be no more of your scorn!"

D: "Thus far, a rather uninspiring scream."

A: "Oh I just can't wait to be king!"

A: "No one saying do this" (D: "Now when I said that—")

A: "No one saying be there" (D: "What I meant was—")

A: "No one saying stop that" (D: "What you don't realize—")

A: "No one saying see here" (D: "Now see here!")

A: "Free to kill and stab all day" (D: "That's definitely out—")

A: "Free to do it all my way!"

D: "I think it's time that you and I

Arranged a heart-to-heart"

A: "Kings of death don't need advice

From little weakasses for a start"

D: "If this is where villainy is headed

Count me out

Out of service, out of the club

I wouldn't hang about

This child is getting wildly out of wing"

A: "Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Everybody look left

Everybody look right

Everywhere you look I'm-

Standing in the spotlight"

D: "Not yet"

A: "Murdering just makes me wanna sing

Let's hear their screams of pain and how it stings

It's gonna be King Anti's finest fling

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Oh, he just can't wait to be king!

Oh, I just can't wait...

Just can't wait

To be king!"

Clapping… Dear God, were they actually good?

"Bravo! Bravo! That… moved me! Dark, I had no idea you had such a beautiful voice!" Jim crooned.

"Really? I mean, sure, thanks…"

"Seriously, Dark. I never knew that about you…" Anti whispered, breathless. In that song, he felt… Overwhelmed… Hearing his deep, imposing voice, it was so… Hot. Nope. Absolutely no way. Dark was bad. He was just another obstacle.

"I'm just glad it's over… Next please!"

"James and Thomas!" Moriarty called out.

"Ready, babe?" Thomas whispered to his boyfriend.

"Not really… I scared… This outfit is really revealing… It shows off all my fat"

"Jemmy… You're beautiful… Honestly. I am so proud of you, my hot little cupcake."

"Thanks…" Both men walked up to the stage. Jim had really gone all out, with a real 'flying' carpet. Thomas hopped on and held out his hand to help James up. James took it and clambered on. The carpet was lifted up and the music started.

T: "I can show you the world

shining, shimmering, splendid

tell me, princess, now when did

you last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes

take you wonder by wonder

over, sideways and under

on a magic carpet ride

a whole new world

a new fantastic point of view

no one to tell us no

or where to go

or say we're only dreaming" James gulped, preparing for his part.

J: "A whole new world

a dazzling place I never knew

but when I'm way up here

it's crystal clear

that now I'm in a whole new world with you"

T: "Now I'm in a whole new world with you"

J: "Unbelievable sights

indescribable feeling

soaring, tumbling, freewheeling

through an endless diamond sky"

J: "A whole new world"

T: "Don't you dare close your eyes"

J: "A hundred thousand things to see"  
T: "Hold your breath, it gets better"

J: "I'm like a shooting star

I've come so far

I can't go back to where I used to be"

T: "A whole new world"

J: "Every turn, a surprise"

T: "With new horizons to pursue"

J: "Every moment, red-letter

T: "I'll chase them anywhere

there's time to spare

let me share this whole new world with you

a whole new world"

J: "A whole new world"

T: "That's where we'll be"

J: "That's where we'll be"

T: "A thrilling chase"

J: "A wondrous place"

BOTH: "For you and me" The lights faded out and everyone cheered and clapped.

"Jesus, James, you're looking good in that outfit," Moriarty smirked.

"Hey, you're mine, Jim! Back off." Seb laughed, "But seriously, James, that is super-hot."

"Um, thanks…" Madison was blushing like crazy.

"I'm sorry, fellas, but Jemmy's taken," Jefferson smiled. He was so happy. His knew everyone would love his smol partner. And he was right.


End file.
